i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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