Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
