i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
