Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
