Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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