I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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