Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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