guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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