In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
