i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize