Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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