well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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