I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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