U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
