She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
