i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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