we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
