i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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