I got chris browned last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
