Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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