tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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