she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
