i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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