He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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