Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
