....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
