My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
MIDGETS
????
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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