I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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