i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
