That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
