Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
