WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
