i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
