I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
