he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
