i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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