i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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