If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
