This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
