I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
