All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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