You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
