I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
