We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
