What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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