she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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