You're my little dorito
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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