Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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