Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
