Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
